In life, don’t let anyone push you around. And that includes yourself. You were not born to be talked down to, abused, or harassed. You were born to be free, express yourself, meet yourself and support yourself exactly where you are at.

Life blossoms as we grow with a positive attitude towards self, wherever we are at. Meet there. Offer support and love, encouragement.

All the negative just drains energy and does not support the real you.

Support is like fertilizer to a plant, gasoline on a fire. Support yourself. Surround yourself with people that support you. Anyone or anything that causes negativity in your life, cut it out immediately. Run from it as fast as you can.

You are worth it.. Live your life. Nobody else’s.

To the fearful, a bite on the hand by a stray ant while meditating is a negative sign or feeling to stop, move, cause of doubt, etc.

To the trusting, a bite on the hand by a stray ant while meditating is a positive sign or feeling to be mindful, appreciate the suddeness of life, oneness, etc.

It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

A big thing for me was learning how to get better at letting go of control. I had these expectations for myself, even I couldn’t really define. Just some general awareness of what I “should be” or what I “should do”.

Here’s a rough sketch of how that all flowed in my life.

I had expectations for who I was “supposed to be”, what I “should be doing”. So, I would do or sign up for things that I thought I should be doing. Eventually, I would drop out, lose steam, or, find myself super battling upstream and wonder why things were so hard. Rinse and repeat. I did this for a long long time.

All the while, things would come along that felt good, and I would deprive myself of those things, because of what I “should” be doing. This is not for me, this is small, stupid, juvenile, what would my family think? Imagine if people knew that I were so simple. that I had these desires.

I could not even fully acknowledge these feelings. When I felt them, and felt shame, or some form of inadequacy about them, and I’d continue upstream, pushing towards what I thought I “should be” or do.

Why am I not happy?!!!!!

So in this learning mode of life teaching me, self denial was pretty evident. Now, I can say that. Back then, no idea. everything was just hard.

So, on one hand, I’d be forcing myself, with all kinds of tactics that were not healthy or self loving, to do what I thought I should do. All the while, things were coming into my space that I would have liked, I just wouldn’t let them in. I could not own my value, and the simple pleasures of life.

I denied myself for so long. Trying to be something I wasn’t. Thank God I get this chance.

Now, the gear I am in, my focus, is to fully acknowledge what feels good to me, be authentic to it, and explore it.

Sure, it’s an adventure, at 44, to be learning a whole new way of life. Same time, it’s all how I look at it. I am being freed from a cage. And I know it’s worth it to keep going.

My aim is authenticity. I accept and love myself. I am in perfect harmony with the loving universe.

Trust, be you (the real you in your heart), and be the river. All good things come!

We all won

Alive and awakened

An instant creation

From suffering and pain

To my own personal gain

Through growth and strife

Under the knife

I am reborn and back again

Amen! In Jesus name

Hallelujah!!!!

When you always always always choose love, you have a wonderful life, everything you could dream of and more comes true.

My journey experienced loneliness. There was a sad quiet suffering within, and it hurt really bad. I had my share of difficulties, heartbreak, along with a reluctance to use someone or treat someone as temporary goods. So for some time I just had wave after wave (and still do time to time) of feeling lonely, and honestly, bad for myself. Why me? I thought. I look all around and see people in relationships, they seem happy. What’s wrong with me? Even the motivation to go do things sometimes was met with grief. I’m doing it, but on my own. Insert 🙁. I’m traveling, but on my own. Nobody to share it with. Nobody to talk to about it. What was my life getting to?

Was I so sensitive that I couldn’t take another heartbreak?

Had I lost all of my trust?

Too critical of others?

Many nights I went to bed sad and lonely. It was a tough time. I’m saying that, still very single without any sort of intimacy for years. I’ve done a lot of work on myself, focused on myself, and realized that as I change and raise my vibration, I create new energy for myself, attract better, improved energetic matches for me. Also lots of other inner work on boundaries, self-worth, attachment style, neediness in general, seeking for approval, and more. Loneliness was the result and the fuel for the various needy manifestations of behaviors.

A collection of many things, many things that I was learning along the way, let’s say. I’m glad to say I have much healthier habits now.

So when do I make my move? When does that person come in my life? Have I become satisfied with my own company? Will I ever make that move?

The right person will come at the right time. I know by doing this work for myself, I have raised my value so much, and in doing so, automatically will have better relations, across-the-board. And, I have become much more comfortable with myself. I own my own personal responsibility to care for myself, Own my value, and have really explored a lot of things that I like during this process that helped me really appreciate having my own time.

So, I will not rush into anything. Same time, I will leap, take a chance, and have fun. You never know what can happen. It only takes a spark.

I’ll also add, along my journey, I have discovered much about the energetic and spiritual world. If my experience means anything, trust me, you are never alone. Angels, ancestors, guides, all around you at all times. The concept of time only has to do with matter and distance. Beyond that, a limitless field of energy, and you are part of it.

You are not alone. You are so worth taking the time. Reveal, heal, unfold, transcend!

There can be days, weeks, months, years of feeling lonely, even though you aren’t.

When the time is right for you, you will attract someone that absolutely adore you, and you are worth that.

Ps: Spiritual guidance, angels, are helping you every moment and would love to connect with you and help you even more. The support and unconditional love to be experienced is like none other.

Believe in your value. All comes at the right time. Hold your value and keep going!

Inside of you is someone very special just being exactly how they were born. Living in modern society, there can be a lot of social programming, lot of character and motivation constructed upon external values and external validation.

Really, the answer is within ourselves. To trust ourselves, that we know what is best. To follow our heart, rather than based on shame, trying to fit in, comparing. There is no comparison for you.

Designing a life of wants rather than should, has wonderful possibilities. Imagine, healthy, self, loving you, trusting you, doing what you want, rather than feeling like you should.

It is an entirely possible reality. Start today by loving yourself, getting to know yourself, and really finding what makes your heart happy. The answer is you. It’s always been your choice.

For all of you out there right now going through it, my heart goes out to you. I hope you feel my love through this writing. I’ve been doing a lot of work, and throughout the process, really suffered. What can I say, as much as we want to put out positive energy, attract positive into our life, sometimes it’s just a real bitch. And I’m saying that. My aim is to be honest and authentic to my feelings.

I’m just coming out of what was about three days of tremendous pain and existential confusion, with tremendous migraines and lack of sleep to boot. It. Was. Not. Easy.

Luckily, I can look back and see the progress I’ve made, and note to keep going. I stay in the game. Some thing I have realized is that many times our greatest point of resistance is when we are right at the cusp of some wonderful change. Our brain wants to go back to the old way, for survival. I get it.

Something that is super interesting to me about it, is even knowing that is how it goes, I will get lost in the woods, lost in those emotions, and I think that is very much part of the process. Just really surrender to it all, allow those feelings. Allow the importance of that shedding. Purging. Getting it all out. I am valuable and taking this time is so important.

You are equally valuable!

I’m gonna wrap this up. I’ve got some yoga and breathing to do. Lol. Just want to say, to any of you out there who are feeling it right now, please, believe in yourself and stay in the game. You do not have to have the answers. Just trust your belief in yourself and the universe has a plan for you. Let go and trust. What that looks like for me, I’ll discuss later.

Life is magical.

Sending so much love!

When morning came, into the yard he stepped. Upon the ground were old dead leaves. In that moment, he knew he had life. For he, just as the leaves of the tree, had changed. His whole life had changed.

As the sugar ran to his head and back down again, so did the rhythm of his life.

The scenery was peaceful. Just as inside.

Regarding the truth, he had his wisdom.

Now, he had his heart again.

From the dirt to the sky to the fields.

Now, a time of renewal and peace.