When you always always always choose love, you have a wonderful life, everything you could dream of and more comes true.

My journey experienced loneliness. There was a sad quiet suffering within, and it hurt really bad. I had my share of difficulties, heartbreak, along with a reluctance to use someone or treat someone as temporary goods. So for some time I just had wave after wave (and still do time to time) of feeling lonely, and honestly, bad for myself. Why me? I thought. I look all around and see people in relationships, they seem happy. What’s wrong with me? Even the motivation to go do things sometimes was met with grief. I’m doing it, but on my own. Insert 🙁. I’m traveling, but on my own. Nobody to share it with. Nobody to talk to about it. What was my life getting to?

Was I so sensitive that I couldn’t take another heartbreak?

Had I lost all of my trust?

Too critical of others?

Many nights I went to bed sad and lonely. It was a tough time. I’m saying that, still very single without any sort of intimacy for years. I’ve done a lot of work on myself, focused on myself, and realized that as I change and raise my vibration, I create new energy for myself, attract better, improved energetic matches for me. Also lots of other inner work on boundaries, self-worth, attachment style, neediness in general, seeking for approval, and more. Loneliness was the result and the fuel for the various needy manifestations of behaviors.

A collection of many things, many things that I was learning along the way, let’s say. I’m glad to say I have much healthier habits now.

So when do I make my move? When does that person come in my life? Have I become satisfied with my own company? Will I ever make that move?

The right person will come at the right time. I know by doing this work for myself, I have raised my value so much, and in doing so, automatically will have better relations, across-the-board. And, I have become much more comfortable with myself. I own my own personal responsibility to care for myself, Own my value, and have really explored a lot of things that I like during this process that helped me really appreciate having my own time.

So, I will not rush into anything. Same time, I will leap, take a chance, and have fun. You never know what can happen. It only takes a spark.

I’ll also add, along my journey, I have discovered much about the energetic and spiritual world. If my experience means anything, trust me, you are never alone. Angels, ancestors, guides, all around you at all times. The concept of time only has to do with matter and distance. Beyond that, a limitless field of energy, and you are part of it.

You are not alone. You are so worth taking the time. Reveal, heal, unfold, transcend!

There can be days, weeks, months, years of feeling lonely, even though you aren’t.

When the time is right for you, you will attract someone that absolutely adore you, and you are worth that.

Ps: Spiritual guidance, angels, are helping you every moment and would love to connect with you and help you even more. The support and unconditional love to be experienced is like none other.

Believe in your value. All comes at the right time. Hold your value and keep going!

Inside of you is someone very special just being exactly how they were born. Living in modern society, there can be a lot of social programming, lot of character and motivation constructed upon external values and external validation.

Really, the answer is within ourselves. To trust ourselves, that we know what is best. To follow our heart, rather than based on shame, trying to fit in, comparing. There is no comparison for you.

Designing a life of wants rather than should, has wonderful possibilities. Imagine, healthy, self, loving you, trusting you, doing what you want, rather than feeling like you should.

It is an entirely possible reality. Start today by loving yourself, getting to know yourself, and really finding what makes your heart happy. The answer is you. It’s always been your choice.

For all of you out there right now going through it, my heart goes out to you. I hope you feel my love through this writing. I’ve been doing a lot of work, and throughout the process, really suffered. What can I say, as much as we want to put out positive energy, attract positive into our life, sometimes it’s just a real bitch. And I’m saying that. My aim is to be honest and authentic to my feelings.

I’m just coming out of what was about three days of tremendous pain and existential confusion, with tremendous migraines and lack of sleep to boot. It. Was. Not. Easy.

Luckily, I can look back and see the progress I’ve made, and note to keep going. I stay in the game. Some thing I have realized is that many times our greatest point of resistance is when we are right at the cusp of some wonderful change. Our brain wants to go back to the old way, for survival. I get it.

Something that is super interesting to me about it, is even knowing that is how it goes, I will get lost in the woods, lost in those emotions, and I think that is very much part of the process. Just really surrender to it all, allow those feelings. Allow the importance of that shedding. Purging. Getting it all out. I am valuable and taking this time is so important.

You are equally valuable!

I’m gonna wrap this up. I’ve got some yoga and breathing to do. Lol. Just want to say, to any of you out there who are feeling it right now, please, believe in yourself and stay in the game. You do not have to have the answers. Just trust your belief in yourself and the universe has a plan for you. Let go and trust. What that looks like for me, I’ll discuss later.

Life is magical.

Sending so much love!

When morning came, into the yard he stepped. Upon the ground were old dead leaves. In that moment, he knew he had life. For he, just as the leaves of the tree, had changed. His whole life had changed.

As the sugar ran to his head and back down again, so did the rhythm of his life.

The scenery was peaceful. Just as inside.

Regarding the truth, he had his wisdom.

Now, he had his heart again.

From the dirt to the sky to the fields.

Now, a time of renewal and peace.

Piggy-backing off of my last entry, adding the layer of healing.

So we know a little bit about manifestation and law of attraction. What we put out can come back.

So does that mean when we are doing healing work, processing some old energy that doesn’t feel great, that we are creating new energy that won’t feel great?

I can’t say for sure.

What I do know, is that validation was very powerful for me. Letting old energy be released, incredibly valuable and healing for me.

So, from my perspective, I think it is something not to bypass. If you have healing to do, dig in. Also, make sure to rest and take breaks. Life is still fun.

After I very honestly express old feelings, old Energy, as a matter of hygiene, and to empower myself in the now, I am in practice of reframing things for my best.

For example, after getting some stuff out, I might say: and it got me here now. All experiences that got me here now to this moment. A moment where I can grow and learn and heal. What an opportunity for me! I own my personal power now am so glad to be shedding these old stories, these old emotions, and it all works for my best. I accept and love myself, and I am in perfect harmony with the loving universe!

Manifestation, law of attraction, and reading tea leaves..

Manifestation and loa – Energetic pipeline

Tea leaves – Rorschach

As we change, raise our energy, the things we look at change.

Take what works for you, keep positive about your self and life

And

Leave the rest with love and with your freedom!

Boom. It’s all just energetic echoes. In doing this you load your pipeline with positivity and thusly, positive echoes and opportunity should you so chose to play with them.

The stuff that doesn’t sound good in this present moment ain’t for you. Give it no energy.

Energy goes to love! The excitement of the life I chose! Being me! I love me so much

Memories are old dug up artifacts with no present context.

Our brains like to make stories

Now is your greatest point of experience, opportunity, and power

Something that really helped me a lot was to stop making myself wrong. And I wasn’t wrong for making myself wrong. Lol.

Just saying, boy, we can get stuck in many places, extended learning periods, in life

Now, I see them all as just experiences. I was never wrong. Back then, lots of shame, guilt, very critical of myself.

It took some time, and some real focus, not only to apply it, but to catch all the little ways I would make myself wrong and honestly, I’m still working at it.

This thing has really changed the game for me. I was never wrong. I was and am enough.

I do what I want, and I don’t should all over myself.

I am enough! Loving myself, gentle with myself…every step to happiness.

I have faced a lot of change. Wind blowing old leaves, falling off the tree. I’ve had a momentous ride. A title wave. A recruitment. To be myself, and then go share it with the world if I so choose. The day is upon me, where I can admire the fire, the truth, the lessons, the guidance, and myself, for working in the process and overcoming a lot. My experience was deeply spiritual, personal. I was very much challenged well beyond my comfort zone. I found pieces of me, places in me, I’d never known. It brought out my best, and every inch of me was gone through. By far, the most magnificent and challenging time of my life. And it just keeps getting better! The full experience, I like to say. Sometimes reciting that in serious personal pain. Lots of tears, old energy shed. At times I’d just laugh. There were some real trying times. I did everything I could, and that worked. “Stay in the game” was all I could do sometimes and that was enough! Sometimes surrendering to the moment was absolutely best, I had many walls, concepts, ideas, that didn’t serve me, that fell away on the path to my heart. I kept showing up for myself. Far from perfect, and that was one of my lessons. To accept myself rather than judge and drive myself. Truly, what more did I really desire than peace? The object, the goal, the concepts I used to push myself, all melted off over time. Trial and error, to get down to the truth. The real value in my personal existence, is me. Stripping away the parts of my ego that liked to push too hard, undervalue me, believed in old dated concepts, believed “I” had anything to do with exterior noise, died a slow death. And it fought hard! Boy, did it fight hard. Only once I got healthier did I realize how unhealthy, abusive, and distracted away from my value it was towards me. And I get it. I was part of it. I wasn’t wrong for being there. This is the process of self discovery, was my own experience. Once that died away through focused determination to see all of my value as interior, and not exterior, I was able to step into my value for being me, my truth as a person, embody my heart, and find peace.

So much more to say. I’ll stop for now.

-I’ll keep going.

Another beautiful day!