In spiritually practice, life, there is always room for you.

To be you

That is the gift

Sometimes my support group and friends felt more like a confrontation group.

Picking at me, pulling out and exposing things I didn’t want or plan to discuss.

Another time, I thought. It’s my life and my choosing, I thought. I was bewildered.

I didn’t know how to let go. It felt so unfriendly, violating.

As if I was there to be the silent witness to the picking of the vultures.

My “safety” laid in solace.

My peace disrupted.

My attempts at healing fell short. The next through confrontation left no stone unturned, no flesh unburned.

Rooted out of me. Diamond tipped boring bit into the soul cavity for an eternal internal excavation, and I as the witness. The silent soldier, felt on entry, and now upon release seems to had grown barbs.

But they were there to pick it out. To help me pick it all out.

As horrid and exposing as it was, despite the tremendous loss, including personal safety, and with silent breath from a quaking exhausted soul, the change was real.

I had been given a second chance. A gift. The process was mine to own, unfamiliar or not. The fire burned with unconditional intensity and love of me, not at me, bringing out my best and truest form, me.

I appreciate my life, this opportunity. I get to be me. A battle was fought over me. So much time energy love devotion sacrifice etc, all for me. Unconditionally pulling for me. To be me.

Not what I thought after all and I’m so thankful. This is the life for me.

Freedom in my own body, skin, life.

Now I invite all of my light to shine!

Thank you

“Women are enthralled and men are forgiven.”

This quote or thought presented itself to me in a dream last night, and I took it in context with one’s own soul journey.

After a nice relaxing day, a ride out to the beach for a nice swim, here is how I’m presently entertaining the thought:

Women are to receive after all their giving.

Men are to be forgiven for all they’ve done to have and provide for a family.

-Lots of ways to look at it.

The masculine and feminine relationship with mutually supportive roles, and unique complementing characteristics.

I like the balance and reciprocity of that thought.

What was eating at the insides 

Has surfaced. 

Decades, a lifetime, amassed on the hilltop, in clear view.

It can stand there for all I care in all of its glory, for what it is. 

I’m too tall for any shadow. 

I am that which has triumphed and more.

Now I’m going to go rest, and allow all of my humanity, peace, sanity, and all, to illuminate my heart. 

If you want unlimited fun and freedom you are in the right place

The imagination is your ticket, ride, destination, and more

Do yourself a favor

Don’t try to domesticate life or put it into a cute outfit

Life itself is here to be experienced, seen explored, by you, and through you.

Have fun, the big ride.

You are an important ingredient, and just as untamed.

Life is wild, free, and will always be.

When I truly felt safe and grounded, my perspective, the intensity of the feelings, changed and wound-down so much.

A lot went into feeling safer, more healthy, established, me.

Today I’m observing calm. And what calm can do.

Truth is, I was upset from the root, and carried that feeling, that tightness, for a long time. Decades. For decades I was so upset, and, couldn’t see or value what I do today.

Take a breathe. Give it a day. Stay in the game.

Love and compassion is your compass. And that includes you! Probably, do that right away if you can find space for it. That’s where the gold is 🫶

Life itself is more sacred, more valuable, than any sacred act or demonstration

I felt so inferior in comparison to them

And for a long time, blamed myself, pushed myself

Eventually it got to be too much

And the blaming, the criticisms, the reasons I was okay and they were just jerks, became a reality..how I saw them. And with lots of hurt and disappointed energy.

As I healed, releasing these old stories to start fresh with them was not like flicking a light switch.

I had my voice, my preferences. This knew knowledge of who I am. This new strength that supports and loves who I am.

As the old feelings fade, I can also look in the mirror.

Now that I feel equal, now that I know I am so likeable, loveable, and new, I can strive forward and release that old dust.

Let it settle. Become the wave.

God please grow that within me is light and love

God please let me release what does not serve me, and feel new

God please let the muscle that worries atrophy

God please keep my focus clear

Please God, keep me safe in your love, and help me trust the wonderful world you provide for me

Amen

It’s been a long road

And

The good news is

I get to focus on the positive

In my life

Of my life

That there is

Life

Lots of reasons to be positive, and I can chose what I focus on

Took what it took to get here

The charge is less

The message is clear

Relax, unwind, be okay

Now it all comes together.

Exhaling.. it’s been a long road

And I can see the choice point

and feel it now

It’s a beautiful day