A balderdash run through the epic forest of trees, and wild blurs.

I’m running. And I’m running on top of the earth, giving it rotation. My feet need to cool down, spinning this world too fast.

My eyes an abundant collection of what I’ve seen, glittering back at me from the stars with deepening fascination and consideration. .. flash, bang, flash, as I tremble naked upon the earths core, she holds me within until dawn.

Indeed an interesting ride.

My soul hangs on tight. I saw that frightened look, I felt it, and gave reassurance with crossed fingers n toes.

After all, we all, just a burning flame from loves faucet.. relying on that. We are OK. Letting go is just part of it.

Life is more. I am more.

Let’s get our feet back on the ground for a few

Cleaned and cleansed, like the stars in my sky just went through deluxe car wash. Shined and dried, twirling out to centers stage…

Alivened, awakened, receded to the darkness, to appreciate the light.

The heavens, a spectacular place. A journey, the motion in the ocean that creates the waves.

Forever in the day. You are alive at last. It is your freedom now. We rain we rain.

Wintergreen, fresh as a daisy. She stands, sits, and leans on me. Her eyes soft as butterflies, galaxies within them, reaching far into my universe. Her glistening skin is like the sun dancing on the water. Her heart, a rainbow that I play Underneath, enjoying its beauty and shelter. Every light, every emotion, within your ocean. I love you. My saving grace. My beautiful sunshine. Never let go!

Michael

The wind, the rhythm, a tide. The fashion, a dance, a playful scene in the next millennia. Under the stars, we shine. Under the moon, we glisten. In the sun rays, we dance. All alone we feel each other through the darkness. Together, we stand apart from all. I can get lost with you, and then forever found with you. You are the dream of dreams. The most wonderful being I’ve ever ever created. I love you to the moon and back. Your dreams are my reality.

A vast sea of knowledge creates a sense of the mind and soul. A wonderful undertaking into the new beginning, the trails from old histories, legends, and steps unknown.

Yet, here you stand.

All alone and yet with me.

Time, a trial of reasons, eras, and foundations. We set wonderful foundations.

The truth relies on your heavenly body. Now is such an exuberant time. With you, we rest, for now, the peace within is the peace without.

Desires, fantasies, role-playing, all part of the dream. We dream, we dream. We dream a little dream. Sweet as candy, tart like raspberry lemonade fruit punch.

The flowers love to dance in the wind.

In life, don’t let anyone push you around. And that includes yourself. You were not born to be talked down to, abused, or harassed. You were born to be free, express yourself, meet yourself and support yourself exactly where you are at.

Life blossoms as we grow with a positive attitude towards self, wherever we are at. Meet there. Offer support and love, encouragement.

All the negative just drains energy and does not support the real you.

Support is like fertilizer to a plant, gasoline on a fire. Support yourself. Surround yourself with people that support you. Anyone or anything that causes negativity in your life, cut it out immediately. Run from it as fast as you can.

You are worth it.. Live your life. Nobody else’s.

To the fearful, a bite on the hand by a stray ant while meditating is a negative sign or feeling to stop, move, cause of doubt, etc.

To the trusting, a bite on the hand by a stray ant while meditating is a positive sign or feeling to be mindful, appreciate the suddeness of life, oneness, etc.

It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

A big thing for me was learning how to get better at letting go of control. I had these expectations for myself, even I couldn’t really define. Just some general awareness of what I “should be” or what I “should do”.

Here’s a rough sketch of how that all flowed in my life.

I had expectations for who I was “supposed to be”, what I “should be doing”. So, I would do or sign up for things that I thought I should be doing. Eventually, I would drop out, lose steam, or, find myself super battling upstream and wonder why things were so hard. Rinse and repeat. I did this for a long long time.

All the while, things would come along that felt good, and I would deprive myself of those things, because of what I “should” be doing. This is not for me, this is small, stupid, juvenile, what would my family think? Imagine if people knew that I were so simple. that I had these desires.

I could not even fully acknowledge these feelings. When I felt them, and felt shame, or some form of inadequacy about them, and I’d continue upstream, pushing towards what I thought I “should be” or do.

Why am I not happy?!!!!!

So in this learning mode of life teaching me, self denial was pretty evident. Now, I can say that. Back then, no idea. everything was just hard.

So, on one hand, I’d be forcing myself, with all kinds of tactics that were not healthy or self loving, to do what I thought I should do. All the while, things were coming into my space that I would have liked, I just wouldn’t let them in. I could not own my value, and the simple pleasures of life.

I denied myself for so long. Trying to be something I wasn’t. Thank God I get this chance.

Now, the gear I am in, my focus, is to fully acknowledge what feels good to me, be authentic to it, and explore it.

Sure, it’s an adventure, at 44, to be learning a whole new way of life. Same time, it’s all how I look at it. I am being freed from a cage. And I know it’s worth it to keep going.

My aim is authenticity. I accept and love myself. I am in perfect harmony with the loving universe.

Trust, be you (the real you in your heart), and be the river. All good things come!

We all won

Alive and awakened

An instant creation

From suffering and pain

To my own personal gain

Through growth and strife

Under the knife

I am reborn and back again

Amen! In Jesus name

Hallelujah!!!!