Emotionally underdeveloped people can be big users.
Detached from authentic self and feelings, they don’t know their worth and in many cases, find it not by who they are, but by what they do.
Doing becomes a currency for love.. Particularly with themselves. It starts there. They have all these feelings they don’t know what to do with, unhealed trauma, (mostly unconscious) emotional cloudiness, emotional immaturity, inner conflict, etc. By doing, achieving the things, fitting in, they by comparison, can feel like they are OK. Doing alright.
If they are not doing enough to have the “happy life like everyone else“ by appearance, they push themselves to do more.
In doing this one may achieve more, but it can come with many costs.
Unchecked, this dishealth only grows, and there is never enough to have lasting happiness.
Self warfare, shaming, self rejecting, leads to a furthering loss of connection to one’s own true inner feelings and does not lead to personal happiness or peace, self acceptance.
There can be a big fork in the road that many times happens in early development..
Do you truly feel enough, safe, secure, to live in alignment with your authentic self and kindness, and love? Or do you not feel enough, unsafe, and insecure to truly let go into being your authentic kind and loving self? Do you have a real sense of your feelings? Are you afraid of having feelings?
Do you know the difference between feelings and thoughts? I didn’t for a long time.
If you are cloudy about your feelings or the difference between your thoughts and feelings, some exploration of this can be very beneficial.
When you choose option B, or it was chosen for you, no matter… If you live by pushing yourself rather than being pulled by your authentic feelings, if doing allows you to feel enough, if you’d beat yourself up for not doing, this is all self warfare, shaming kind of stuff.
Don’t beat yourself up. It can run deep and be very historical. You are not bad or wrong and can heal from it.
When you deny your feelings, you use yourself. Rather than authentically and intimately loving and growing yourself, you’re just using you to check boxes as you push through life (many times in very unsatisfying ways!).
The love or care style that one gives to themselves is all they can give to others. They’ll use you, put you uncomfortable situations, and call it love.
Are you doing this to yourself now?
(Here is the best part… all you really gotta do is be yourself. Give yourself permission to accept who you are. Know your value comes from being here now. Find yourself, find your best life. Inner work will free you!)
Starting Anew! 