Sometimes my support group and friends felt more like a confrontation group.
Picking at me, pulling out and exposing things I didn’t want or plan to discuss.
Another time, I thought. It’s my life and my choosing, I thought. I was bewildered.
I didn’t know how to let go. It felt so unfriendly, violating.
As if I was there to be the silent witness to the picking of the vultures.
My “safety” laid in solace.
My peace disrupted.
My attempts at healing fell short. The next through confrontation left no stone unturned, no flesh unburned.
Rooted out of me. Diamond tipped boring bit into the soul cavity for an eternal internal excavation, and I as the witness. The silent soldier, felt on entry, and now upon release seems to had grown barbs.
But they were there to pick it out. To help me pick it all out.
As horrid and exposing as it was, despite the tremendous loss, including personal safety, and with silent breath from a quaking exhausted soul, the change was real.
I had been given a second chance. A gift. The process was mine to own, unfamiliar or not. The fire burned with unconditional intensity and love of me, not at me, bringing out my best and truest form, me.
I appreciate my life, this opportunity. I get to be me. A battle was fought over me. So much time energy love devotion sacrifice etc, all for me. Unconditionally pulling for me. To be me.
Not what I thought after all and I’m so thankful. This is the life for me.
Freedom in my own body, skin, life.
Now I invite all of my light to shine!
Thank you
Starting Anew! 