(As a kid and into adult life)

I created a story to feel safe (bc I didn’t)

about a perfect family (bc they weren’t)

It was necessary to get by (bc my brain wanted me to survive)

I used that created story to whip myself (rather than face deficit of support and broader terror that I was not safe)

It was easier than accepting the reality that I didn’t feel secure, for survival.

And that I can trust myself.

I wasn’t wrong.

I’m strong enough and safe enough now within my own self to see it.

They love me the best they can.

It doesn’t define me, or how I will love. It doesn’t define me!

When a moral human is driven to emotional despair, acting out, that human then uses their own morals to destroy themself for doing so.

Oh man. Be gentle with yourself

When you decide to conceal something about you from someone else you don’t allow them to love what you might not.

Whereas, you may not presently accept this part of you, they might accept and love right beyond it.

Chill out and trust!

You don’t have anger.

Anger has you.

Free yourself.

Firstly, you are unconditionally loved by god and freedom is your birthright.

I find many people that spend a ton of energy of external freedom are quite unfree internally.

Comparatively, I find the people who are internally free are always free, whatever the environment.

Personal work and healing is so valuable. Stop running and identify the distractions when it is your time.

“The way out is in”

I used to think I needed to be better. I used to think I needed to be tougher, if I learned enough outside of myself I’d somehow find my value and happiness.

Well, as it turns out, loving myself as an organism that naturally grows on its own, loving and liking me, spending time with me, valuing me, being honest and open with me, pouring my energy into me, is all I ever wanted and needed to find my value and joy.

My world is opening up. Replaced “shoulds” and “I have to’s” with wants and I get to’s.

By loving me, investing in myself, ignoring all the external noise, and trusting I am enough, I’ve discovered a free and rich countryside full of options that I get to decide on what’s best for me.

It takes time. It is worth it. Find your true north. And keep going! I’ll be by your side working, too.

We are the link between God and earth.

These, my darkest days.

How much more can my heart take?

Will it eventually stop feeling?

Falling. Falling. Falling.

There I go.

And endless downhill ride through the funneling kaleidoscope of smeared memories, love, trauma, self talk, and inner wisdom.

Lost, I am.

Deep in the trees.

They say new is good. Letting go, backwards, sliding, to a forward destination. Is that how it all works?

I don’t know.

I’m speaking to you now wrapped in five quilts. Please turn the heat up so my toes don’t get cold.

Well, when you say stuff sometimes I get magical little butterflies that dance in my body singing cute little adorable songs and it bubbles up in me joyfully like a rigorously shaken two litre of carbonated mineral water showering my entire being with a sensation of joy, being loved, actual real nurturing and support, and I find at that moment nothing is impossible, everything is eternal, abundant, and I’m right where I need to be. Like I’m sitting in a comfy chair by a fire and everything is okay. And that includes my heart.

Home at last!

The depiction of science a method to be revealed

Matters of heart a pressing matter

In days all will be known

Tonight, lay by the fire and allow it’s warmth into your heart

That sweet heart. It’s soft in the middle.

We can help you if you let us.

Go to bed, say your prayer, and open to us.

Nothing we can’t do.

Believe!