I have faced a lot of change. Wind blowing old leaves, falling off the tree. I’ve had a momentous ride. A title wave. A recruitment. To be myself, and then go share it with the world if I so choose. The day is upon me, where I can admire the fire, the truth, the lessons, the guidance, and myself, for working in the process and overcoming a lot. My experience was deeply spiritual, personal. I was very much challenged well beyond my comfort zone. I found pieces of me, places in me, I’d never known. It brought out my best, and every inch of me was gone through. By far, the most magnificent and challenging time of my life. And it just keeps getting better! The full experience, I like to say. Sometimes reciting that in serious personal pain. Lots of tears, old energy shed. At times I’d just laugh. There were some real trying times. I did everything I could, and that worked. “Stay in the game” was all I could do sometimes and that was enough! Sometimes surrendering to the moment was absolutely best, I had many walls, concepts, ideas, that didn’t serve me, that fell away on the path to my heart. I kept showing up for myself. Far from perfect, and that was one of my lessons. To accept myself rather than judge and drive myself. Truly, what more did I really desire than peace? The object, the goal, the concepts I used to push myself, all melted off over time. Trial and error, to get down to the truth. The real value in my personal existence, is me. Stripping away the parts of my ego that liked to push too hard, undervalue me, believed in old dated concepts, believed “I” had anything to do with exterior noise, died a slow death. And it fought hard! Boy, did it fight hard. Only once I got healthier did I realize how unhealthy, abusive, and distracted away from my value it was towards me. And I get it. I was part of it. I wasn’t wrong for being there. This is the process of self discovery, was my own experience. Once that died away through focused determination to see all of my value as interior, and not exterior, I was able to step into my value for being me, my truth as a person, embody my heart, and find peace.
So much more to say. I’ll stop for now.
-I’ll keep going.
Another beautiful day!
Starting Anew! 